Single Dad Laughing

Several months ago, I came across this blog Single Dad Laughing and fell in love with it! I admit, I don't read blogs very often, but any time I read this one, I end up either laughing, learning, or crying inside. The author shared a post of his from about 6mos ago on fb. The title is 16 Ways I Blew My Marriage and shares, well, just what it says, 16 things he felt ended his first two marriages. For each reason, he includes a bit on what he would've done differently if now given the chance, and a bonus for each improved action. As I was reading through these reasons and his thoughts on how to do things differently, I couldn't help but compare them with everything I've learned and am learning in my major. I feel the way the media depicts marriage is having an impact on actual marriages throughout the world, and it isn't until after the fact that the victims of unhealthy or failed marriages realize this problem. If only those "in charge" of the media would, heaven forbid, do some research to learn some of the trends, actions, attitudes, and setting that actually improve and create happy an lasting relationships. Every point the author of the a fore mentioned blog fit almost perfectly into everything we're taught in this major when it comes to creating our own relationships and helping others to improve theirs as therapists. I was so excited that real people really can "get it!" The media, at least for me, has painted such a negative picture of society when it comes to marriage, that I've often wished everyone could take some of the classes I've had to opportunity to learn and grow from! It's good to be reminded that things aren't always as bad as they're shown in the media. :) There was only one point of his that I didn't agree with, and I've included my response to his post. I highly recommend reading this post and others on his blog. Enjoy!

My response:
I'm actually pretty close to getting my degree in Family Sciences, and I agree with all of these except #8 Don't Fight in Front of Your Kids. Yes, there are things that shouldn't be discussed or done in front of your kids, but at the same time, how else will your kids learn successful conflict resolution skills? Or that marriage isn't always easy, and that they're parents still love each other despite hardships. I'm not meaning to say you should always fight in front of your kids, heavens no! I'm just saying it's not necessarily bad for them to realize you're human, and that arguing and fighting (constructively) can lead to more understanding, stronger relationships, and more openness in a relationship. Your kids have got to learn good conflict resolutions skills somewhere, and I'd rather mine learn in the home as opposed to whatever goes on at their school or otherwise. The same goes for showing your spouse affection. There are OBviously things that should be done in private, but kissing your spouse, sharing a long hug, or silly "mushy" comments in front of them is good for them to see as well. :)

Remember, it's the little things in life!

Lindsey